Think about the last time you were with a group of guys and a conversation came up about ones wife? Was it full of complaints? Was it inappropriate? Did it become uncomfortable? The answer is probably yes.
Chances are either you or one of your friends felt a need to unload about how his wife is nagging about building the craft room, painting the bathroom, leaving the seat up, not doing the dishes etc. which then snowballs into everyone comparing stories like one guy is going to come out on top with the best worst wife story of the night.
These stories end up having huge unintended consequences that leave lasting impressions. Once the last bit of whisky has been sipped, the husband goes home a little more bitter than before and his pals leave with a poor judgement of the character of his wife.
Fortunately this situation is easily remedied by following one simple rule that my wife has been so faithful to and I strive for (you’ll see later). And guess what, it’s only like one thing, no four steps, or 10 steps, just one.
- Never speak poorly of your spouse to anyone, period.
Wait what? Yep. It’s pretty simple really. There is not one thing that speaking poorly of or complaining about your wife can help. Our job as husbands is to protect our wives and be their covering.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25
Is Jesus in heaven now, talking to his Father about the sin I just committed and how I just refuse to trust in Him though even the smallest of things?
Absolutely not and neither should we do the same about our wives.
Rather, we should speak highly about our wives to our friends, children, and whomever the discussion arises with. It’s not only fair to her, but I guarantee it will change and encourage your heart towards her in ways you cannot imagine.
If there are issues that you need prayer for, I believe it is ok to ask your closest friends for prayer in a way that is not gossip, but that is not a time for tearing your wife down.
Now, most of you will probably be surprised to hear this, but I am an extremely reserved person. I’m the epitome of an introvert, I can count on less than one full hand what I would consider a close friend, the answers I give are, in my mind, thorough – yet apparently the bare minimum of what the questioner was looking for, and my version of the “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” rule is generally more like, “If you have anything to say, don’t say anything at all.”
Some of you may be saying, you know I don’t really say anything nice or mean about my wife, or anything for that matter.
I get it, I’m there. I generally avoid the conversation as a whole, and guess what, it’s just as bad. Saying nothing is just as damning as saying everything.
Don’t be that guy. Be the guy that makes everyone believe you have the best wife in the world, or if your introverted, start with being the guy that people now know you have a wife (they’ll already think she’s awesome for marrying you).
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, say something nice anyways”